My “you’re a closet Kabbalist” moment

In the previous century, I used to “tape” Oprah on my TiVo in my railroad one bedroom apartment on Manhattan’s upper east side; it was my week-day post Wall Street work viewing treat. My liver had it’s own stops for after work treats back then, but early 20s money was tight, I liked fitting in my jeans, and who doesn’t love a tip from Oprah?

I remember coming how from work, most likely after a typical weekday stop after a long day grinding the Wall Street marketing pavement, and watching Oprah open the episode by telling Madonna how centered she seemed. Madonna gave Oprah a minimally more eloquent response than “duh” and explained her findings/studies with Rav and Karen Berg via the Kabbalah Center.

This “back in the day” moment coincided with me nursing a 20-something year old broken heart and I wanted out with the anxiety and in with zen.
As a side note, my own helicopter mom flew up to NYC from Florida the following Monday to go with me to the Centre’s weekly “open house” to make sure Madonna wasn’t recruiting me via TiVo, and Oprah, into a cult.

We met the incredible Meir Yeshurun, and my journey with spirituality really began. Crazy things happened as a result of that intro, like my mom giving copies of The Power of Kabbalah out to the WASP-y’est of her friends and, most recently, me giving my own “duh” reaction when talking about spirituality, in my own attempt at connection, with a friend.

Madonna on Oprah on Kabbalah

During the interview, Oprah makes multiple connection attempts with her high maintenance guest, describing benefits related to investment in her own spiritual journey, and Madonna interrupts with, “you’re a closet Kabbalist.” (insert celebrity eye roll)

There is no physical Centre in Seattle, but I have visited Meir, his wife Osnat, and their family at ones in London, Berlin, and Los Angeles over the years.

Karen and Rav Berg has since passed, I obviously wasn’t traveling through the long COVID days, not really outside my Magnolia neighborhood if I’m honest, and the Center is technically under new management.

All that said, I arrive now at my point: my spiritual journey has been a long one, and, gratefully, it continues to evolve as I get to live this life.

Case and point: I recently found myself judging someone who didn’t grow up with any sort of “religious” or “spiritual” exposure. Not one church, synagogue, nor mosque visit until a curious Sunday with no plans during high school years. Or maybe she said a cute boy from school may have been going :) Even still, one visit and one visit alone was had.

A few nights ago this same friend was describing her core values as they related to a new business venture and I blurted out, “You’re a closet Kabbalist.”
My friend smiled and graciously went on to comment kindly about something, backing up those said values, and steered the conversation to one of many more topics we would cover during that interaction.
Later I replayed the conversation in my head and it isn’t lost on me that the very “spirituality” that I say I work on, and try to embody the essence of (that sounds like a good thing, right?!), goes out the window sometimes when I “need” to find a label for things.

Writing this post puts it out there that I am, I think, trying to notice my own faults and areas for improvement. And yes, unfortunately most of the learnings come from some cringe-worthy replays.